my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize