You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You've changed since you got that strap on
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
