Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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