i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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