We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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