You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
