it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
