dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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