She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
