There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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