She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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