Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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