dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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