Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just want nice things and good sex
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
