she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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