Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
