i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
