My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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