drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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