Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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