Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
