well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
