I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
