Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
