I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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