Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize