yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
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I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
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he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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