Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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