If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
