Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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