I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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