I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize