I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
