Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
