Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
