I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
