so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
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