Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
do herpes really smell.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
