Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
