I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
