But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
