ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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