they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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