I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
