I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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