We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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