i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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