There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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