bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
