Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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