i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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