Grow some girl-balls and come out already
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
