How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
