DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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